they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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