oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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