you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize