O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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