There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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