I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This is my life. Enjoy the view
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize