Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize