perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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