Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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