I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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