We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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