I'm jealous of your bromance
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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