i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize