this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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