It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
