I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
