I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize