The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
