omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
