it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So gin and wine won't be happening again
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
