Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
