haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
