My room smells like vodka and shame
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
