I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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