Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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