you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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