She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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