Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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