I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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