my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
