She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
