she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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