Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
