During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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