just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize