He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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