I'm lost and stupid without you.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
