after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Dicks are not precious.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
