Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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