If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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