i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
