I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
