the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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