Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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