the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
