grandma shit on top of the toilet
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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