In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
