I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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