I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Non-Jews are for practice
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
