summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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