i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
