It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
