Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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