I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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