he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Porn is love you can see.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
