she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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