She said her name was "party"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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