Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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