I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
