So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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