You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
