my soul wont recognize me after tonight
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
