Dual....:-)
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
