and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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