She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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