she was so not down for the gang bang
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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