Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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