ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
