hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
