Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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