There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
pray to the hookup gods
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
