clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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