Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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