I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
